When you decide to do a Camino Pilgrimage, you expect hardships and struggles. You pray for the strength to live in close contact with other pilgrims and to continue each day. But often it is the things that you did not expect that are the hardest to handle. Caroline is hating her time here and I see that she has done this not so much for the experience herself, but to meet my expectation. She says that this is nothing like she expected. No one else her age; each day a hard walk with a heavy pack. She is either hot or cold. She has not slept well on the entire trip.
Though I have prayed for our safety and fortitude, I did not focus on the experience that my daughter was having. She has impressed all of the other pilgrims with her energy and fast pace. But it has not been enjoyable for her.
Spiritually the Camino is a chance to look inside yourself and examine what you value and what in your life needs to be aligned with those values. As I was beginning to start that appraisal internally, I realized that the main reason I had wanted to come, to be with my daughter, was in jeopardy. We will have to make some changes.
As you know from her post we are going to take it easier and find more private accomodations. We are going to keep to whatever schedule our bodies feel, not one based on when we need to get to Santiago.
At mass last night the priest gave all the pilgrims a special blessing to continue on our way. I know that we are being prayed for by many people back home and we pray together at the beginning of each day and pray a rosary as we walk. These blessings and prayers are needed to help us to continue.
Pray that Caroline regains the strength to make her Camino, whatever that will be, and pray that I can support her in the ways that she most needs.
12 comments:
Next time you write something don't make it so sad.(me and mom teared up when we read it)It must be hard to walk 15 to 20 miles a day.(next time don't you dare try and do 2 days worth or I'll scream. sorry if that sounds bratty.) 0h By the way when you went to the chocolate museum I hope you ate lots of chocolate for us.
XOXOXO,
David
At the moment, I can't tell you whom I am most proud of - my husband or my daughter. You both are amazing and I know you will make the best camino for both of you. Len, I am proud of you for keeping the true reason of this journey in mind.
I'm sure after a couple good nights' rest Caroline will feel better and build up to her usual energy. Remind her she doesn't have to be the fastest always. She can slow down and enjoy the getting there part a little and not wear herself out so much. From hiking with her, I know what she's like on the trail. Speedy! I read on one of your discussion boards that many people have problems sleeping in the refugios, but after a week or so, you are so tired you tune everything out. Maybe you can do hostals some nights and refugios other nights. I love you both with all my heart and am fervently praying for you all day long. A big virtual hug and a kiss to both of you -Irene-
[From Uncle Steven]
Irene, I tried to post this on Len and Caroline's Blog but had problems. Would you please copy and paste it to them from me? Just wanted them to know that I was thinking about them.
hey you crazy hiker/camper type. Sounds as if things aren't going as smooth as it could. It is real easy for me to be a Monday morning quarterback from the comfort of my home as the two of you are struggling your way thru. All I can say is hang in there Caroline. It must be extremely difficult to be a teenager and give up your freedoms and friends for this time. But it truly is a once in a lifetime experience for the both of you. It is difficult but just think of what you are gaining. Appreciating mostly the things you do have but are temporary out of reach. Something simple like a bed in your own room. Just think how much more you will appreciate the things that we all take for granted. Caroline and Len, you guys are extremely BRAVE to do this and the memories that you will have and share will last your lifetimes. Love you guys and in the words of my departed mother, "un abrazo muy fuerte". Love, Steven
I really admire your honesty. The going is tough right now but you've made some necessary adjustments and refocused on what's most important so I'm sure better days are ahead. I know it's a cliche but it's true that the best things in life are often hard, or at least to begin with. Hang in there; you're be glad you did later on. We're praying for you so you are not walking alone.
Un abrazo fuerte, Stan
What an amazing thing you two are doing together! The hard times will bring out your best and your worst - don't be afraid of that. In the end, no matter where you end up, it's all about the journey. And a journey is nothing but one step at a time.
I love this blog and will be rooting for you both from cyberspace!
Tina Knoedler
Dear Len and Caroline!
Vivian Ferrari and I happened to be at the Gwinnett County Water Park with our children today and ran into the other half of your family, who told us of your incredible journey! We are so delighted to know that you are there and that you are praying for all of us at Mary Our Queen. I have read some of your postings tonight and they are so beautiful even though some of them are wrought with suffering and pain. Please know that you are not alone-- among the many others I'm certain are praying for you, we, too will be praying for you day and night until you reach your destination. This beautiful love for your faith and for each other is quite a testimony for all of us. Thank you so much! Not an ounce of your suffering will go to waste; God promises to use every single ounce of suffering to save a soul in need. May God bless and strengthen you!
Love in Christ, Julie Wilborn and family
Hey Caroline and Len,
Sometimes we go about things, plan our plans having with certain ideas and then in the adversity, we are stripped of all our masks and defenses. The actual physical journey is never the real reason---keep plugging away, enjoying the process and God will continue to bless you with abundant graces and fortitude. Be assured of my prayers for both of you and I hope you are offering some these sufferings up for the Honduras mission trip. We need them.
God bless you on your journey....keep letting God strip you. Patti
I read this blog and am in awe of what you are doing. I know it must be hard, from your emails, but I have no personal experience to compare it to. My forays on the AT pale in comparison, and most of those were ages ago, so all I can do is read your accounts and imagine both the beauty and the hardships you are experiencing. Still, I am so envious...
Probably not even worth two cents, I am one of those idiots who feel compelled to offer unsolicited advice nonetheless.
Caroline, it looks like your Dad understands that he has to go at your pace from now on. Don't try to be a hero and push too much to try to impress or please him. I can tell that he is punishing himself already for not recognizing that his tolerances are different from yours. I promise that he will be happiest when you are happy, so do what you must to enjoy the experience. This is a trip that you will remember for the rest of your life, and you want it to be good memory, not one of physical pain and agony. Make this pilgrimage about the journey, not the destination, and focus on the good things.
Len, don't be too hard on yourself. It's easy to forget that not everyone can tolerate the same conditions- I often make the same mistake, just not on a 250 mile hike (I WOULD make that mistake on a 250 mile hike were I to attempt such a hike, but of course I have done no such thing.)
More than I envy you the journey itself (this is my kind of thing) I envy the time you two are spending together. When you annoy each other, as is bound to happen, remember how very few people, especially Americans with our diminished sense of family, have this opportunity, and remember why you are really there.
I can't wait to read more about your trip and hear it from you, firsthand, when you return. Sorry for the long winded post- I will try to keep it to a brief ramble next time!
Todd
test
We just completed the Camino. Hang in there. We suffered from shin splints, blisters, being overtired and worn out and from the cold rainy weather. Many alberques were cold and damp BUT the food, scenery, and people we met were all awesome. Once you get to Santiago you will be able to say it was worth all the hardships. May the Lord bless & guide you both.
Ruth
Iowa, USA
http://www.elcamino.norsketech.com/ecblog/ecblog.html
Wow, what a journey, and what a challenge. Somehow, I think the two are meant be intertwined, to make the pilgrimage whole. You have all our thoughts, and all our prayers.
I would like to share with you my favorite poem of all time.
Ithaca
When you start on your journey to Ithaca,
then pray that the road is long,
full of adventure, full of knowledge.
Do not fear the Lestrygonians
and the Cyclopes and the angry Poseidon.
You will never meet such as these on your path, if your thoughts remain lofty, if a fine
emotion touches your body and your spirit.
You will never meet the Lestrygonians,
the Cyclopes and the fierce Poseidon,
if you do not carry them within your soul,
if your soul does not raise them up before you.
Then pray that the road is long.
That the summer mornings are many,
that you will enter ports seen for the first time with such pleasure, with such joy!
Stop at Phoenician markets,
and purchase fine merchandise,
mother-of-pearl and corals, amber and ebony,
and pleasurable perfumes of all kinds,
buy as many pleasurable perfumes as you can;
visit hosts of Egyptian cities,
to learn and learn from those who have knowledge.
Always keep Ithaca fixed in your mind.
To arrive there is your ultimate goal.
But do not hurry the voyage at all.
It is better to let it last for long years;
and even to anchor at the isle when you are old, rich with all that you have gained on the way,
not expecting that Ithaca will offer you riches.
Ithaca has given you the beautiful voyage.
Without her you would never have taken the road.
But she has nothing more to give you.
And if you find her poor, Ithaca has not defrauded you.
With the great wisdom you have gained, with so much experience,
you must surely have understood by then what Ithacas mean.
-K. P. Kavafis (C. P. Cavafy), translation by Rae Dalven
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